Badi's art

In case you haven't seen it already, please do have a look at the art done by my younger one. Her work is at badi-2205.deviantart.com

Reya's Work

Here I am again, only to plug the creations of Reya (my elder daughter).

Please visit http://diddleh.deviantart.com/gallery/ ; you might like it!!!!

I don't think this has happened before!!

National Values

After a fairly long break something has provoked me to write again. An interesting article by Retd Gen Sinha about the first Indian Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw. I would ask you to read it first as it celebrates the leadership of a person who had a major impact on the armed forces and Indian politics in his own way. It has been published by the Deccan Chronicle that I remember as a "local" Hyderabadi newspaper. I hope papers with more national impact pick it up, it would be a shame if it is lost to the rest of the country. Its available through the following link

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/node/94825/print

The article brought back fond memories of how the Army works and how meticulously everything is planned, the thought that goes into getting everything right. The values of remaining true to history, tradition and not only doing the right thing but doing things rightly.

We could have our own views on whether in the 20th century we need to value our Army and therefore its Field Marshals as they did in the Prussian War 200 years ago, most of the Western democracies seem to do. I have no doubt that in a democracy elected representatives of the people should "rule" and have a say over defence and internal security. However, it a known fact that a leader who doesn't value its workforce will cause disengagement and demoralisation. The outcome will therefore be gradual decay and failure in the future.

I wonder if our leaders and bureaucrats do not understand this principle, or simply do not care. I am sure they are smart enough to know this. Does it mean then that it is the latter.

Nostalgia

"The younger generation is losing their sense of values" I heard from my elders when I was growing up (of course I was a "good boy" and wasn't the direct recipient of such complaints, usually!). When I went to work I heard conversations around the same subject. And wondered if this was a "generation gap" thing (one day I intend writing about the workplace Generation gap). 

I visited places I had grown up in and always found they had changed for the worse!! People told about how nice life was when they were growing up and I could identify with that, now that I was growing up (i.e. getting older and grumpy).  We all enjoyed the nostalgia and were unhappy, even upset by the present state of affairs.

So the question is, do we like to live in the past and curse the present, while hoping for a better future (or become more cynical). The short answer is probably yes. I must say I have been tempted to curse the next generation for its loss of values. But stopped short and wondered if this would be right. And if there is a need to blame some one, who should we be blaming in the first place. 

My parents and their generation had powerful role models, freedom fighters, soldiers, leaders and martyrs.  It was a time of major strife, world wars, social turmoil, and revolutions.  Stories of heroes both local and global were easy to come by, ordinary people were doing extra-ordinary stuff.  And there was much more religion in our lives, where we heard about great deeds and spiritual achievement. More importantly, the greatness of such people was publicised through books, scriptures, movies and story-telling. 

So there were role models to emulate or at least aspire to emulate. Looking around today we seems to have grown out of quite a few of these situations.  Wars and revolutions are far away from our world in different continents and the stories emerging from there are usually about bad practise than good. Poor decisions by leaders, human suffering and a general paucity of good ideas or deeds.  The rise of so many new methods of story-telling has resulted in positive stories being discarded as boring. We are therefore inundated by sleaze and bad role models.  No wonder many of us know what we don't want to be, and are confused about what we want to be. I recently came across David Bornstein's "How to change the world: Social Entrepreneurs and the power of new ideas" who also starts of with a similar notion.

So I think the world is changing, just as it has been changing since the world began. And we will continue to understand it in our context and be nostalgic about it. Each generation will feel that it was better earlier and so it shall be. 

Nostalgia is not what it used to be!! said Simone Signoret noted French actress. Think about it, being nostalgic about nostalgia.

Communication or cultural skills

I have been in the UK for just 3 years and am not as
experienced as many others. To many this message might
sound like preaching to the converted but in my naive way I am trying
to analyse the "problem" of communication and culture. I have worked
in India for about 17 years and can claim some "life-experience". I am
presenting my views as my study of two cultures without bias to one or
another. These are observations *not* judgements. Apologies in advance
to anyone who feels offended.

One of my first observations on arrival in the UK was the subtle
discrimination I *perceived*, in behaviour and sometimes in words.
Like any member of a minority I felt all this was related to my
appearance. Very soon I realised it was my behaviour that was
different. I also reflected on my behaviour back home where I was in a
position of power/majority and probably got irritated with "lesser
mortals" very easily, because they couldn't understand me, not because
of their appearance, religion, sex or domicile. I guess as doctors it
was easy to get used to being revered/pampered.

On the day I joined work (in the UK) I met people from HR who were
surprised at such good English (spoken and e-mail) from an Indian. I
retorted that all Indians had good English and they disagreed.
(although I sometimes see their point when reading a few messages
posted on this forum ;- just joking, not judging).

Over the years I have realised what they were trying to say. It is not
*what* we say but *how* we say it that is different. We know the
language but our choice of words and approach is different. Cultural
examples I picked up (at my expense, I hasten to add) were when
someone says "Would you like to have a seat" they are telling you not
asking. Similarly, "Why don't you have some tea and I ..." is not a
question but a statement. The other major "culture shock" was a host
asking "would you like some..." or "why don't you have some more ...
". This according to me was bad manners. In India the guest would be
obliged to say no thinking the host was ill-mannered, or a miser, or
both. The host had to plead and beg the guest to eat more until they
were ready to explode (my belly is proof of that).

Another important part of communication many told me was that it is
95% non-verbal. We are appalling at eye-contact especially with the
opposite sex or with someone older because in our culture that is bad-
manners. Smiling too much whilst talking was bad manners, and might
suggest that you were disrespectful by not being serious (or may be
flirtatious, in case of a girl!!!)

In the workplace, I think our education and training (and culture as a
whole) emphasises focussing on the problem, quickly homing to the
point thus being very result oriented (no wonder we have the best
computer analysts). We frowned on people who left on time, did not
work on weekends and took their whole entitlement of leave. In essence
we valued hard-work and would happily compromise relationships for
values (see any Bollywood movie or TV soap and its about sacrificing
love/ relationships for values). Some would proudly say they work so
many hours that they haven't been on holiday with their families for
ages. Out here we find it difficult to give priority to relationships
over work (which is our value system). Our conversations might thus be
too focussed on the problem than the person we are speaking with.

The Indian system also believed in good and bad performers and
rewarded excellence and did little to motivate non-performers (I am
being a cynic here, maybe because I am a bit lazy). I think the system
here tries to ensure everyone reaches a threshold that is safe and
effective. Excellence is optional and the self-motivated will get
there. Poor performers are supported and have to "re-offend" many
times before being considered untrainable within the given resources
(I love that choice of words)

So what do I think we need to do. Get involved. In the shops,
workplace, public areas we need to watch and learn to talk using
similar words, little self-depreciating jokes, body language etc etc.
"Waste" some time in observing and talking to people, building
relationships and understanding the culture we have decided to live
in, where ever that might be - in the hospital or outside. (The
management buzzword of networking reminds me of "apun ka accha
*setting* hai vahan par" that we were so good at getting our jobs done
back home, by using chai-pani as an excuse).

I am keen on others comments and views and would end by suggesting an
excellent book "Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English
Behaviour" by Kate Fox, an anthropologist with an excellent way of
writing.