experienced as many others. To many this message might
sound like preaching to the converted but in my naive way I am trying
to analyse the "problem" of communication and culture. I have worked
in India for about 17 years and can claim some "life-experience"
presenting my views as my study of two cultures without bias to one or
another. These are observations *not* judgements. Apologies in advance
to anyone who feels offended.
One of my first observations on arrival in the UK was the subtle
discrimination I *perceived*, in behaviour and sometimes in words.
Like any member of a minority I felt all this was related to my
appearance. Very soon I realised it was my behaviour that was
different. I also reflected on my behaviour back home where I was in a
position of power/majority and probably got irritated with "lesser
mortals" very easily, because they couldn't understand me, not because
of their appearance, religion, sex or domicile. I guess as doctors it
was easy to get used to being revered/pampered.
On the day I joined work (in the UK) I met people from HR who were
surprised at such good English (spoken and e-mail) from an Indian. I
retorted that all Indians had good English and they disagreed.
(although I sometimes see their point when reading a few messages
posted on this forum ;- just joking, not judging).
Over the years I have realised what they were trying to say. It is not
*what* we say but *how* we say it that is different. We know the
language but our choice of words and approach is different. Cultural
examples I picked up (at my expense, I hasten to add) were when
someone says "Would you like to have a seat" they are telling you not
asking. Similarly, "Why don't you have some tea and I ..." is not a
question but a statement. The other major "culture shock" was a host
asking "would you like some..." or "why don't you have some more ...
". This according to me was bad manners. In India the guest would be
obliged to say no thinking the host was ill-mannered, or a miser, or
both. The host had to plead and beg the guest to eat more until they
were ready to explode (my belly is proof of that).
Another important part of communication many told me was that it is
95% non-verbal. We are appalling at eye-contact especially with the
opposite sex or with someone older because in our culture that is bad-
manners. Smiling too much whilst talking was bad manners, and might
suggest that you were disrespectful by not being serious (or may be
flirtatious, in case of a girl!!!)
In the workplace, I think our education and training (and culture as a
whole) emphasises focussing on the problem, quickly homing to the
point thus being very result oriented (no wonder we have the best
computer analysts). We frowned on people who left on time, did not
work on weekends and took their whole entitlement of leave. In essence
we valued hard-work and would happily compromise relationships for
values (see any Bollywood movie or TV soap and its about sacrificing
love/ relationships for values). Some would proudly say they work so
many hours that they haven't been on holiday with their families for
ages. Out here we find it difficult to give priority to relationships
over work (which is our value system). Our conversations might thus be
too focussed on the problem than the person we are speaking with.
The Indian system also believed in good and bad performers and
rewarded excellence and did little to motivate non-performers (I am
being a cynic here, maybe because I am a bit lazy). I think the system
here tries to ensure everyone reaches a threshold that is safe and
effective. Excellence is optional and the self-motivated will get
there. Poor performers are supported and have to "re-offend" many
times before being considered untrainable within the given resources
(I love that choice of words)
So what do I think we need to do. Get involved. In the shops,
workplace, public areas we need to watch and learn to talk using
similar words, little self-depreciating jokes, body language etc etc.
"Waste" some time in observing and talking to people, building
relationships and understanding the culture we have decided to live
in, where ever that might be - in the hospital or outside. (The
management buzzword of networking reminds me of "apun ka accha
*setting* hai vahan par" that we were so good at getting our jobs done
back home, by using chai-pani as an excuse).
I am keen on others comments and views and would end by suggesting an
excellent book "Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English
Behaviour" by Kate Fox, an anthropologist with an excellent way of
writing.
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